production maven

pro•duc'tion n. 1, act of bringing forward. 2, a product of physical or mental labor; esp., a theatrical presentation. ma'ven n. an expert. Also, ma'vin.

Friday, August 27, 2004

some random thoughts on this Friday

Here is why I love working from home:
When KEXP plays Fade Into You by The Cowboy Junkies, you can get up and slow dance with your husband, who also has to work from home, until you are both rudely interrupted by your golden retriever silly dog who wants in on the action.

Here is what I love about KEXP:
That they just played Holiday in Cambodia by the Dead Kennedys. I haven't heard that song in YEARS. "You'll work harder with a gun in your back for a bowl of rice a day!"
But now they are playing crap, so not as much fun.

Have a great weekend, all!

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Thursday, August 26, 2004

who's in charge?

Does it worry anyone else that Bush is on yet another month-long vacation, puncutated by campaign visits? Who on earth is running the country? I know that being "President" is a lot of work, but can't you go 4 years without a few month-long vacations? I went 4 years without a real going-away-somewhere vacation (it was mostly long weekends, if I took anything) and I survived. Granted, being a Production Manager is a little less stressful than Ruler of the Free World, but honestly. Does the man really need a month-long vacation every other month? Talk about cushy! Get a new job, give yourself a 100% raise, and take 6 months off a year. The rest of those 6 months, do mostly campaign stops. Don't bother staying informed. Someone else will do the job, how hard can it be? Fly around on your country's dime, back and forth to your ranch where you play pretend environmentalist while your cronies are passing laws that enable oil companies to do what they want and strike down any real environmental policy. Sign a bullshit tax break into law - gee, thanks for the $300! That should cover my taxes for next year... wait a minute, no it doesn't! - while simultaneously plunging the country into heinous debt. Involve the country in a war as a diversionary tactic away from another war that you start that goes horribly awry and you let the bad guy get away anyway. War #2 is actually a revenge for your daddy anyway, and is the biggest load of horsecrap ever. Make up information. Hold people against their will and fly in the face of the Warsaw Convention. Who cares? You're the leader of the free world. Plunge your country into recession, and keep telling everyone that it's really ok. Act like a complete idiot when asked to string a sentence together... bumble and mumble through press conferences when you're asked a question that's not already pre-scripted. Create a crap Medicare system for seniors that requires them to go on-line to get informed. Laugh when you hear that 85% of Senior Citizens do not use computers. Get a good slap on the back from the pharmaceutical companies. Take away the marital and reproductive rights of people in your country. Call them heathens. Damn them and make their lives hell. Then call yourself a Christian who communicates directly with God. Score another pat on the back, this time from God Himself. Corrupt the school system, so that everyone can "get a good learnin'." Tell your contingent that everything is fine, and that you just need another four years to finish the work you've started.
Rinse.
Repeat.

I've gotten to the point of just turning off the televison or radio when I hear this moron speak. I can't stand it. It's too painful. I'm sympathetic to people who have issues with public speaking - I am certainly one of those people. But if you can't put 2 words together properly, here's a tip: DON'T RUN FOR PUBLIC OFFICE, ESPECIALLY PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

What does the rest of the world think of us? That we "elected" (whoops, no, wait, we didn't elect him...) this shit-for-brains who is running this country into the ground as fast as he can? (All of you international readers... ring in here). I think someone needs to slip Dubya a roofie in his non-alchoholic drink (or give him a shot!) and kidnap him and let the Iraqis have their way with him. An eye for an eye would not begin to compare to the hell that he has made their country.

And the worst part about it?
The real bleak ending to all of this?
As much as I want Bush out of the office, I honestly don't think that Kerry has a chance in hell to win.
In case no one else was listening to Marketplace yesterday on NPR, the oil prices fell sharply. Anyone else want to place coin on gas prices going way down in September (which they will, if oil prices are falling in August) and bin Laden being "found" in late October? Yeeeehaw! Another four years! In the bag!
I'm seriously considering moving to Canada or Europe. Or maybe encouraging my great state to secede from the union. There's still time! Who's with me??

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Monday, August 16, 2004

bloomin' algae

First of all, let me apologize for the typo for Julia's entry. Her last name is Child, one, not more than one. My extreme bad. Mea culpa, mea culpa.

Yesterday was just sublime. We had a nice weekend all around, but yesterday was really lovely. We went up to my parents house in the islands (yes, Vermont has islands; Mr. G. calles them "Vermont's Hamptons" because they become rather overpopulated with non-green-and-white license plates from May to October) to check on the progress of the house. The house is coming along quite nicely, and there is much rejoycing on the side of my parents, because they are sick of living in the hovel that is the other side of the house which has not been made lovely yet. Mr. G. and I were also hoping for a swim... neither of us had gone swimming in the lake yet this summer, and that's just tragic. When I was small, I was in the water from May to September, and somehow managed not to be pruney all the time. We also wanted to get the dogs in the water. Neither of them know how to swim because there is no lake immediately outside of our house. It's 12 miles away for the official lake and, while there are little lakes around, they kind of suck. Our shepherd is afraid of the water, too, which sucks a little bit. She fell in a couple of times when she was little, and now she doesn't like to get in too deep.

So we get there, praying that the weather holds out, which it did. It was suppose to rain yesterday, the remnants of Charley, I guess. But he went away, and that worked for us because it was sunny and cool and perfect. We went in the water, splashed around, and our golden got his "official" golden retriever certificate, because he learned to swim. He also scratched the hell out of my arms and legs, but that's ok. He likes to swim, and even jumped off the dock. Progress, people. Baby steps, but progress. And we got the shepherd in, but she wasn't too excited about it. She preferred standing on the dock and barking and whining at us. At one point I swam out to the boat that was on its mooring, and she just about fainted, she was so upset.

Oh, and also there was algae. A great big bloom of blue-green algae. Nasty stuff. We were hoping it was pollen. No such luck. But that's ok, we still had a great time (until I took off my bathing suit and had a plethora of algae. Ugh! Smelly, nasty, slimy, grossness). Then we had a delicious dinner of burgers and corn and salad and sliced tomatoes, then listened to the baby on the doppler that I borrowed from my friend and we could hear her heartbeat. Then we went for ice cream (it was the shepherd's 5th birthday! My first canine baby is growing up!) Then we came home. It was a great day. All summer days should be as fun.

Today is slow work-wise. It's been like this all month. This is what I hate about being self-employed. When the phone doesn't ring, that's a problem. Tonight I have pre-natal exercise class, then we go to dinner with a vendor/friend of ours. Free dinner? Ok!

Hope you all had a nice weekend and that you're surviving Monday. I'm ready for either Friday, a vacation, or retirement. Whatever. I'm not picky. Anyone have the ability to see into the future and get the winning lottery numbers? I'm beginning to think that's my Obi Wan Kanobi. Help me, Vermont State Lottery Powerball. You're my only hope.

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Friday, August 13, 2004

in memorium

Julia Childs, 1912-2004.
Thank you for making cooking accessible for all. You are and will continue to be an inspiration.

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greetings from the ark-in-progress

Remember that little song you would sing when you really wanted to play outside:
rain rain
go away
come again
some other day

Well... it doesn't. work. I've been singing that song all week, and for most of the summer (in my head) and it's still. friggin. raining. So now I get to sing it as Mr. G. and I go out and fell the trees around our house and build our ark, because it's going to flood here for sure.
With many thanks to Bonnie and Charlie (now WHY didn't they name the "c" storm Clyde? Come on, people! Use your head! These two badass combinations are going to rip the south a new one and pound the crap out of New England. Bonnie and Clyde! together again!) for dumping all of this rain on Vermont. During Field Days week. I mean, it HAS been raining here all summer. And it's been nice and cool. And the mosquitoes have grown to mammoth proportions. But does it really have to rain during Field Days week? ALL WEEK? Really? This is one of my few opportunities to get to the field, during the day (hence the name), see prizewinning cattle and sheep, see record-breaking zuchinni and early pumpkins, drool over the baked goods that people have submitted for tasting (although by the end of the week they're pretty funky), and, MOST IMPORTANT of all, eat my fill of fried dough and maple ice cream and maple shakes and maple pops and bloomin' onions and smell the sausage and onion and pepper subs (I don't like sausage but I like the smell).
But nooooooooo! It has to RAIN all week! And not just drizzle. Pouring. Thunderstorms. Lightning. Flood watches. It's damp EVERYWHERE. Clammy. Yucky. To add insult to injury, next week is forecasted to be sunny & 75+ degrees. Poor field days people. And all I want to do is go back to sleep, but it is Friday and so that means I'm suppose to be working... but I have no work to do. So I'm going to try and be disciplined and write for the day, rather than read and knit and sleep.

The good news is, Sex In the City season six has been discovered in my video store. So last night we started watching. And I'm hooked again.

This weekend we're going to tour a historic house that's here in my town. It's an old masonic temple... I can't wait to see the symbols that I've heard are carved into the woodwork, old Mason symbols. Too cool. Then we were going to try and go see my parents but I don't know if that will happen because of the rain. I wanted to get up there and see their house-in-progress and go swimming. Not if it's raining!

I have a new item to top my list of "hell on earth" scenarios. This may become a regular feature here on productionmaven. I don't know. Without further ado, here is the number one hell on earth scenario (at least for today):
1) Being in Coventry, VT this weekend with 70,000+ other dirty, muddy people, where it is raining harder than a cow peeing on a flat rock, where I can't get clean or dry anywhere. Where mud gets jammed up under your toenails and fingernails and becomes one with your hair, and you can't get into your sleeping bag and warm up because there is 4" of water in your tent and everything is soggy and your clothes start to grow mold on them on day 2. And the port-o-lets are disgusting and haven't been cleaned since they were delivered and they are.... almost... full... and you don't want to sit down.... And listen to music that makes me go a little nutty after a few minutes. I saw Phish as an opening band years and years ago when I was in high school (so 16 or 17 years ago?) They opened for UB40 and were entertaining, but I didn't care for the music. And you know what? I still don't.
Ugh. I have the heebie-jeebies just thinking about being up there right now. Thank goodness for maturity and my dry house! Years ago I wouldn't have minded going to hippie-fests such as this, and there used to be a lot of them in Vermont. Going to the bathroom outside, communal meals and drug fests, music all day long, camping... used to be sort of fun. But now that I'm 31, it's the least interesting thing to do ever, other than apply to a port-o-let company for a job. Hold on. I have to go barf now.

Happy Friday the 13th! One of my most favorite days! It's like Christmas... but no presents.
I have to go now and hoist some beams for the ark. Have a great weekend.

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Thursday, August 12, 2004

i'm just sittin' here... thinkin'....

i had all kinds of brilliantness in my head yesterday when I was driving home. All kinds of posts that I was going to write and stun the pants off my four readers and magically command some super-agent to unconsciously go to their computer and start typing and discover my blog and send me a high six-figure (come on, let's be realistic, seven figures only comes when you're a movie star or politician and I'm not either of those... not yet) contract and book deal that would lead to an award-winning film and then I would be *up there* (as Warhol used to say, "boy, he's really up there" when referring to someone famous).

so, you just get to deal with the brain-scrapings that i've come up with this morning. tfb, babies.

here is a short list of things that would be hell on earth to me:
1. Going to a Britany Spears / Jessica Simpson / Janet Jackson / Ashlee Simpson / any boy band or corporate band "concert".
2. Going to the Super Bowl / World Series / any sporting event populated by an extremely drunk, predominantly male demographic.
3. Shopping at the Mall of America.
4. Going to Disney World or any other amusement park that simultaneously brainwashes you while shoving their product down your throat the entire time you're visiting, thus forcing you to become like the fois gras goose with your butt-hole sewn up.
5. Having to live in Texas (sorry, cool Texas people! I know you exist, but I don't know if there are enough of you to outnumber the conservative jerks out there).
6. Living in a place where the seasons don't change. The seasons give me a constant stream of subjects to bitch about, and they drastically change four times a year! What could be better?
7. Living where the bugs are bigger than most cats.
8. Having to live in Florida - or, as I think we should call it, StripMall-IgnorantPeople state.
9. Talking to "President" Bush and trying to argue evolution vs. creationism. Evolution wins all the time, people. You like science for their Cialis/Viagra pills and miracle surgeries, then give it a little cred for the REASON WHY WE WALK (not crawl) THE EARTH!
10. Going to a Christian Coalition meeting or any kind of radical extremist Western religious gathering. This almost includes church. Church scares me enough, though, so I don't go. The ritual is nice. I like to pretend that they're pagans.
11. Watching television where there are more ads than program (wait a minute! that happens now!)
12. Standing by when people make stupid-ass, life-altering decisions and being unable to stop them.
13. Watching the sad, sad "Animal Police" show on Animal Planet and seeing how people can be so damn cruel to kind, trusting, INNOCENT animals (and yet, I'm unable to turn it off because I'm always hoping for a happy ending).
14. Having to work in a slaughter house. Ugh. The thought of it just turns my stomach. I love to eat beef and chicken, but if I had to process them myself, forget it. Hellloooooo tofu and veggies!
15. Listening to ignorance.
16. Listening to ignorance stemming from the political stage.
17. When people mistreat their children.
18. When children prefer television and video games to books and using their own imagination.
19. Pollution and when people don't recycle.
10. Being advertised AT. ALL. THE. FRIGGIN. TIME.

There's your short list!

I think I write this mostly to make Mr. G. laugh through his nose. I don't know who else reads this, and, in fact, I wonder if blogging has "jumped the shark". (In fact, I wonder if the term "jumping the shark" has also "jumped the shark"). I certainly don't get the hundreds of readers though, and that makes me sad. Poor me.

Here's something to ponder:
OK, we know that the Bible was basically a bardic tale that was told for thousands of years, until someone finally wrote it down (in the Bardic tradition). Then King James I decided he didn't like it, so he had it rewritten to reflect what he liked. And that's the basis of what people read and enjoy and live by and kill by. Here's the thing I like to think about.
Let's consider this. Instead of the biblical bardic tales, what if the Homeric tales - the Illiad, the Odyssey - were the ones embraced by King James? Or what if it were some of the Norse stories? How would life be different? I like to giggle about that when Bible devotees start spouting their truisms. I just kind of remove myself and think about Zeus. WWZD - what would Zeus do? Ha ha....

Mr. G. and I are suppose to go to the local Agriculture Fair this afternoon, after I am forced to go to see Sears Optical so that the Nazis that are 1800contacts.com get an updated prescription. But it's looking like rain and more thunderstorms, and it is HUMID up here! Yuck! This is sleeping weather. There's nothing else to do. Mr. G. said it's like living in a cloud.

Oh, and by the way, it's a girl!

Have a good one.

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Friday, August 06, 2004

zuchinni heaven

do you like zuchinni? I mean, really like it? (no, not in THAT way...) Then you should get your ass right up to Vermont, pronto. It's the time of year where the stuff grows 6 inches in a day. 1 day. 6 inches. No joke. There is a joke in Vermont, and it goes as follows:
"When do Vermonters lock their car doors?"
"In zuchinni season..."
Reason being is because gardens produce so damn much of it, that people will sneak up to your unlocked car while you are not in it and fill the back seat with long, dark greenish-black squash. And, heaven knows, you already have enough in your own garden!
People with overly-ambitious gardens set boxes of squash by the side of the road with a sign reading "FREE" on the boxes.
Damn, I love this state. Zuchinni for everyone!
Now, I've got to get back to the kitchen - I'm making 4 loaves of zuchinni bread, two to give away to my brother and my friend that we're going to see tonight, one to sell at the yard sale tomorrow, and one for work for next week, if it survives that long. I've already had a piece... mmmm. Yum.

Have a great weekend, all!

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