production maven

pro•duc'tion n. 1, act of bringing forward. 2, a product of physical or mental labor; esp., a theatrical presentation. ma'ven n. an expert. Also, ma'vin.

Thursday, July 29, 2004


ok, pregnant and non-pregnant and formerly pregnant women EVERYWHERE. attention. i have figured out why "they" call this frantic running around nesting. It's because you realize, that in less than 5 months, your life is going to change so damn fast. You are going to go to the hospital some snowy January afternoon, and you are going in as one person, and coming out as two. And do you really think that the house will be clean enough? You need to get a jump on cleaning the house, washing the floors, cleaning the windows, scrubbing the sinks, lamenting over the weeding that needs to get done, seeing the blops of paint that need to be touched up, recognizing the dirty doors that need to be dusted and, yes, repainted. You see those curtains that you've lived with for more than 6 years? And they were dragging on the floor back then? Well, lady, they are STILL dragging on the floor. And they CAN NOT DRAG ON THE FLOOR ANY MORE. THE FLOOR DRAGGING DAYS ARE OVER, MISTER CURTAINS. So you need to call your neighbor who has a sewing machine and knows how to use it, and explain in a slightly frantic way that you need her help as soon as she is humanly able to help, to keep those curtains from dragging. You pin them in anticipation... and you wait until 4:00 when you will go there and watch her work her sewing-machine magic.

Yes, ladies and gents, I have turned the corner from just "manic" to "manic and nesting". This may just mean that I've got my energy back (but no, I'm ready to take a nap right now, if I could) but I am just seeing all kinds of things that need to get done RIGHT NOW. Like the cat box, which is out of my hands. So please take a moment and think of poor Mr. G., who gets to suffer the brunt of my demands. I heart you, Mr. G.! You know who you are.... and, being somewhat lucid at this very moment, I'm sorry I'm such a nudge to you lately.

And, the worst of it? I start a jillion projects - for example, I was vacuuming before - and then I get distracted and I stop. I was cleaning, then I wanted lunch, so I made lunch and was reading my daily blog checks and then decided to do this entry and the vacuum is still out. I did however remember to unplug it (we have central vac). And I am not done vacuuming.

In other words:
- i have almost barfed twice in the last 24 hours because of some mad nasty smells - one of the dogs got into something lovely and when I was washing him off it almost took me down. And the garbage that we (whoops! i mean I forgot to empty had rotting wet cat food packets in it.... mmmmm! But I have reisisted the urge! So the score officially is:
barfing: 0; me: 2
- we had our eleventy-hundreth electrical storm of the summer last night and lost power again while we slept. it's a good thing we have a couple of devices in the house that shrill when we lose power - like our smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors - because I didn't hear when the power went out, but I heard them when they came back on. We had a mucho important meeting this morning EARLY and didn't want to miss it. So I was glad for the shrilling, for once.
- we're participating in a town-wide yard sale next weekend. Another thing to get all crazed about organizing. This weekend I tackle the basement and hoe out the crap down there.
- we have finally gone legit on most of our software. Mr. G. is right now installing OS X.3 on his machine. Mine is next. We got all kinds of goodies: the new Adobe creative suite, MS office, blah blah blah. We are both scared of the power our machines will have over us. I got more RAM and a new mouse, too, because I'm one special bitch.
- the lawn: needs mowing OF COURSE! Can't you see that?? And there's weedwacking to be done, too! Then we need to finish the painting that I started to do 3 years ago!

have a good one. it's hot here again. boo.


Friday, July 23, 2004


what do you think of the new look? too green? too bad! it was a wicked pain setting it all up again!
i need to figure out how to post pictures on this thing. any suggestions???? help! i am an HTML tard!


worst. song. ever

i learned something last night. and that something is this: the WORST song to get into your head, especially when you get up to pee at 1:42am because your bladder is being pressed upon by your ever-expanding uterus, is REO Speedwagon's I Can't Fight This Feelin'.
People. I was up until past two singing the damn thing in my head and wishing for a lobotomy.

in other news:
work - status quo
grass - cut but now the yard looks like a hay field. we were out there until 9:00 last night cutting grass. are we the OCD type or what?
cats - still cute. but someone's been puking a lot. not so cute. and there were some poops that missed the box a couple of days ago. also, not so cute.
dogs - VERY cute. very good too.

i had a dream last night that I was at my alma mater with hundreds of thousands of people, and I seemed to know them all. It was this huge gala thing (the music school was performing Mama Mia or some such thing) and everyone was dressed in evening wear and all fancy and I ran into Mikhail Baryshnikov and he left the party he was with because he wanted to escort me. He was dancing on buildings and cars and stuff to impress me - he would flip onto something (like an awning) and then dance down. It was hilarious. He was trying to impress me by telling me all the women he had slept with. I kept saying, "I'm sorry, but I'm married and I'm having a baby". It was certainly bizarre. Where the heck do these things come from??

we have to make a mad run up to Burlington today to get dog and cat food. we are officially out of cat food. shhhh. don't tell them. then we might go up to my parent's house for a swim. have a great weekend, all!


Tuesday, July 20, 2004

I heart home

I love my home. Love it. We got home last night from my trip to Boston (left last Wednesday) and our trip to The Hamptons over the weekend. Fun time with my mom's family (well, most of them). Got to experience clamming. Swam in the ocean. Ate copious amounts of excellent food. Had to give my cousin a Vailum for her back. Back to Boston Sunday night via two mini rip-off ferries and one big 'un. Then work half day yesterday. When the work was done, the rubber hit the road. Made it home in good time. No traffic.

We get home. Dogs overjoyed to see us. Cats swarming us, twirling us. Dogs then with the sad dog eyes. Lots of reassuring to the dogs. Made ourselves stay awake, in order to "maintain schedule". Go to bed to read at 9:30. Dogs assemble themselves in their respective places. Cats - three of four - on the bed before we're done brushing our teeth. Get into bed. One cat snuggles into my armpit. The other one does the push-push dance-dance on the blankets. The other one goes to "her" corner of the bed. Read. Lights out. Good night.

This morning. Up at regular time - 8 AM. Don't have to go to Boston until 3 August. Thank goodness. Collect ourselves for the day. Work as usual. Then, one of the cats does the damn cutest thing I have ever seen EVER in my life. EVER. She comes running in, makes a muffled *mew* noise. Thought she had a little crinkled up piece of paper in her mouth. She likes to chase crinkled up paper balls. She drops what she has, right next to me, on the floor, and steps back a little bit, waits for my response. Looks me in the eye. The cat has caught a fly, and brought it to me. Is that love, or what? The cats don't go out, so they can't bring me disgusting bloody things. I'll take the fly any time. I just love that she, usually a pretty aloof cat, wanted to let me know that she's happy to see me so she hunted for me.

I heart my home and all the furry critters esconced therein!

On baby news: got our crib and mattress, yay. It looks excellent. The cats love to sleep on the changing pad. It is all hairy and already requires a wash. I am still VERY VERY tired. This may never pass. Not for 20 years or so. I'm 4 months along. Two weeks from Friday we have our next ultrasound to determine if it's Boy B or Girl B. I'll let you all know.

On work news: same shit, different day.

On lawn news: needs to be cut.


Thursday, July 15, 2004


oh my god. I am so not cut out for a corporate lifestyle, or even working for other people.
I've been in Boston yesterday & today, and it has been meeting fucking central. I had a couple of meetings last night, we had a 3-1/2 hour (at one go!) meeting this morning, and now three of my co-workers are having yet another fucking meeting (after 5 co-workers finished another one) at the conference table. Now, you must know, I sit about 7 feet from the conference table. So three people with booming voices are talking about how they don't want to pay the inept web people. And I know that's problematic. But sometimes the shoe is on the other foot, because sometimes it's me and Mr. G. justifying why we should get paid. That makes me feel a little oogy.
There's also our special sales woman here, who is very great but has a West Virginian drawl and a VERY RASPY LOUD VOICE. Currently she is sitting at the conference table (small office, not enough room for people to come and visit and have a desk because the office is way over-loaded, so she keeps moving around and I do feel bad for her for that). She is facing me, sitting at the conference table. Her booming voice is going directly into my ear tunnel, and each word she says bounces individually off my brain.
*oh, yeah, I have a painful headache too. No can take Advil because of evil dwarf gestating in my belly. Have to take Tylenol. No Tylenol in office.*
My sciatica is killing me. So is my back.
Someone is having a phone call on SPEAKER PHONE. The person he is speakering keeps losing the connection, so he keeps calling, on speaker phone, ring ring ring, then the phone tree picks up beep and then they get voicemail. Success! Sounds like they've finally gotten through!
My boss is having simultaneous brain farts and melt-downs because she is so overly disorganized.
There is a woman walking around upstairs (this is a converted warehouse or something - rustic, wooden floors, organic but modern and funky) with huge high heels on. It is like sticking your head in a kettle drum (the bottom part) and having someone pound the hell out of it with your head as the receiving end of the pounding.
Another one of my co-workers walks like a little girl in high heels. She is just way too clompy. I told her today in a fun way, but how do you say that nicely?
And me? I'm stuck here, until 6:30 or so, when Mr. G.'s bus gets into town and we go to Long Island for the weekend.
I want to lay down on the couch. There is no couch. I want to lay on my comfy mattress. There is no comfy mattress. I am in office hell for another 2-1/2 hours. Poor Mr. G. I wonder if he's having the same issues on the bus.

So, for everyone who's reading this, if you would please SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
*thank you*


Sunday, July 11, 2004


So, most of you know and/or remember that Mr. G. and I live in Vermont, where it is sometimes hard to get cable television (but we have running water! and electricity! Yes we do!.... unless, of course, we lose power, then we don't have anything because our well and hot water heater and everything are - you guessed it - electric). OK. Anyway. No cable. We have DSL too, which is spectacular. But, have I mentioned, no cable? Sure, we could pay for a dish, but honestly, we're the kind of people who read a lot for entertainment, and listen to NPR for our news, so really cable is just superfluous. Any time I'm anywhere where they have cable, I flip-flip-flip and nothing is ever on. So I don't know if we'll ever get cable. Unless, of course, you're talking about Six Feet Under.

Our video store finally (finally!!!!) got the second season of SFU in... after teasing us since December, telling us that they would be in in February. We've been checking every month and finally gave up. Then we found out last night that they were in. And promptly rented the first two DVDs. Last night. And watched the first five episodes. Between last night and this morning. And now we're totally jonesing for the asshat who has the third DVD to return it because, you know, there is no way in hell that we will watch them OUT OF SEQUENCE. I know, don't talk to me about Netflix. I'm too cheap for that, and I don't like giving my credit card number over the internet for automatic withdrawls. Call me old fashioned.

So we're waiting. And as I write this, it has now turned 6 o'clock post-meridien, eastern standard time. I want to know who has this DVD, and when they plan on getting it back to the store, because now it's 6:01 and you're officially LATE!!!

I've been trying not to read reviews of SFU's second season, and plugging my ears and going "la-la-la" when my Boston co-workers, who all watch all kinds of t.v., talk about what happened. I didn't want to ruin the suspense. And now the suspense is KILLING me because of the moron who has the other disk!! What to do....

I forgot to tell you all last week, not because I am lame but because I am pregnant, lame, and exhausted (I sound like a horse!), that Mr. G. and I did our civic duty and went to see Farenheit 9/11 over the Fourth of July weekend. It was good, typical Moore-extreme-left-wing-interviews-taken-out-of-context but I still think it's important for everyone to go and see. So we go to the 6:45 show with some friends, then we leave and who's standing outside of the theatre, waiting for the next show? None other than Senator Jim Jeffords, Vermont's pride who changed from Republican to Independent when That Moron took office. I went up, introduced myself, and shook his hand. I said, "Thank you!" and he said, "thank You!" and I said, "No, THANK you!" It was great. In the movie, when there is a clip of him, everyone in the theatre cheered and clapped. I told him that, and he said, "that's what I've heard, so I wanted to come and see the movie for myself." Great moment. I'm sure New Yorkers don't walk out and see Hillary waiting in line for a movie, or that very many other consituents walk out of movie houses in very many other states and see their Senators, waiting patiently for the theatre to empty, wearing a light sweater and chinos, because it is a little cool in the evening. I friggin love this state.

OK. Time to call the video place and kick some kiester.

Baby news, very brief: got the crib with my mom on Thursday, it is lovely and excellent and nice to have a piece of furniture that reaches out and reminds me gently that there's a baby coming, SOON. Also, Friday, we had a doctor's appointment and heard the heartbeat. There's really something in there. I can't see it or feel it, but it is there, I guess!

We're off on "vacation" on Thursday this week. To Long Island for a party. It will be a lot of travel, but really nice to see the family.

Otherwise, be well, don't get sunburned, and don't forget your deoderant.


Friday, July 02, 2004

Friday morning, still unmotivated

Mr. G. is on the phone right now with a client who is VERY nice and also VERY uninformed about graphic design and printing. She was working with a surly printer who wouldn't get her job done in her schedule, so she's taken it upon herself to set up the files (in PageWrecker! for PC! the horror!) and supplied the files. The old printer is feeding her all kinds of terrible information and advice, and this has taken FOREVER to get done. The poor woman. She's so out of her league. And this makes me make another mental "note to self": DON'T ACCEPT FILES FROM CLIENTS, especially if they have no idea what the hell they're doing. It's so annoying and frustrating.

Then we have this other client who we've been working with for about two years. On the same project. We had quoted it a certain way and were going along, and eventually he started balking at the monthly charges we were charging, because he thought they were for additional design and they weren't and if he had just read his invoices like any thinking person would do he would see that they were for phone calls and e-mails. He calls and keeps us on the phone for 45 minutes, asking the same damn questions, first of Mr. G. then of me. Or vice versa. So we had to bow to a fixed fee for the rest of the job because he bugged out about the cost. That happened in November or December. It's now July, we finally have page proofs back from him and his little crew - that they have had for six weeks - and he wants us to turn it around in a week, because one of his dudes is travelling again and wants to see the revised pages. I told Mr. G. to sit on it for a little while. I hate when people try to push me/us around. This guy is a toolbox too. I won't ever do another book with him. And you can bet that I'll be marking up his print costs a pretty hefty amount. Jackass.

Aside from that, I'm so very glad that it's Friday. Now if I could only move the clock forward a few hours. I don't have much to do, and am doing a lot of waiting around for some quotes. We don't have any plans this weekend, aside from doing our recycling. I'm ok with that. We had a hell of a electrical storm last night, and lost power from 6:15 to about 11. Right after we had gone grocery shopping and bought ice cream. No power = no freezer working = possible ice cream disaster. That, thankfully, was averted. The lightning was striking very close to our house, too. At one point I was half asleep and a huge bolt touched down close by and unconsciously I flung myself across the bed and snuggled with Mr. G. Scary, but exciting.

What are you all doing this weekend? Hope you're safe, and don't drink and drive. You.